If you were a metaller...

[lpetersson]

How would you save the princess
Funny and worksafe.
You might go blind from the colours though

Nicked from uv_pink_fluff

HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and fucks the princess

GRIND METAL:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

POWER METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, fights the dragon with his mythical emerald sword for 3 days and nights in an epic battle of good Vs. evil, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest

THRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her....... easy and quick

FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess

VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a longboat, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns the place before he leaves

DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves

BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before sacrificing her to Satan.....then he impales the deflowered princess

GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her....then he fucks again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time

DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as well

PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to the princess's bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs himself to death at the guy's appearance, he then steals the princess's make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour

INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

Comments

[cbr-paul.livejournal.com]

...not authorised! >:(

[lpetersson.livejournal.com]

Added into my entry instead :)

[feuermaus.livejournal.com]

Ja, I'm fwends only - ner to those who aren't privialaged ;)

[purplehez.livejournal.com]

hahaha! *amused*

[gelflyng.livejournal.com]

I have seen that before. The real question is, what makes the dirty metaller think that the princess would let him anywhere near her?

:p

[lpetersson.livejournal.com]

Most of the metallers didn't give her much choice, and the Power Metaller obviously serenaded her so she could see the true romantic heart beating in his big strong metaller chest :)

What a beautiful image you've painted

[gelflyng.livejournal.com]

LOL Power Metal Romance!!! Or should that be called Love Metal? Or Untrue Metal?

Re: What a beautiful image you've painted

[lpetersson.livejournal.com]

Yay to Power Metal Romance \m/

There's actually a lot of romantic metal songs, but they tend to be by Finnish operatic bands :)

They forgot...

[themadcatlady.livejournal.com]

GOTH METAL
The protagonist mopes while wearing frilly black shirts, gets depressed at the beauty of the dragon's wings, steals the princess's make-up and runs off moping some more.

[pelicanzed.livejournal.com]

Brilliant! Although I suspect the grind dude might be there for more like two seconds.

Metalcore:
The protagonist arrives, tells the dragon he's not going to kill it because he believes in animal rights man, tells the princess he won't sleep with her because he's straightedge, and runs off, crying.